The Race

There was a man named Cletus that lived in a small town with only one traffic light.

Cletus had saved up his money and bought a mo-ped.

One day Cletus was at the light waiting for it to turn green when a shiny new Corvette convertible pulled up next to him.

Cletus had never seen anything like this in his life.
The Corvette had its top down so Cletus leans over the side of the car and starts checking out the interior.

This annoys the driver of the vette so when the light turns green he steps on the gas, laying down rubber as he leaves the intersection.

He gets up to 60mph when suddenly Cletus flies by him on his mo-ped.
The driver of the vette says to himself “This clown wants to race”.

Shifting into 4th gear he steps on the gas again. He leaves Cletus in his dust as he gets up to 100mph.

Then out of nowhere he sees Cletus coming up fast in his rear view mirror.
He can’t believe it as Cletus flies by him again on his mo-ped. 

The driver of the vette shifts into 6th gear and floors it.

He passes Cletus and gets up to 150mph! Once again, Cletus passes him like he’s standing still.

Shocked, the driver of the vette pulls over to the side of the road. He hears gravel flying and brakes squalling as Cletus pulls up next to him.

The driver of the vette congratulates Cletus on winning the race and asks him what kind of an engine he has in his mo-ped.

Puzzled Cletus replied “Race? I was just trying to get my suspenders off of your side-view mirror.”



An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. 

He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. 

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. 

I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.

 I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’ s where the bodies are buried.

At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. 

They apologized to the old man and left.  That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  

That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Previous Post Next Post