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Joke Of Today: High school reunion

 


60th High School Reunion, He was a widower and she a widow.


They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.


This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles .


They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table.


The widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?” After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, “Yes,….. yes I will!” The evening ended on a happy note for the widower.


But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say Yes? or did she say No? He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. 

He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.

He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn’t remember as well as he used to.


Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her.


“When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes? or did you say No? “Why you silly man, I said Yes. Yes I will ! And I meant it with all my heart.” The widower was delighted.


He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued. “And I am so glad you called because I couldn’t remember who asked me!”

Man Gives Girlfriend Necklace, Years Later She Realizes What’s Inside


 Gives Girlfriend Necklace, Years Later She Realizes What’s Inside

By Brad Smith | 


Putting An End To It

After two long years of his little game, he knew it was time to put an end to it. He slid her beloved necklace off her neck and told her he wanted to take some photos of it among the rocks on the beach.


Slyly, he felt around the piece of polished wood until he located the seam with his fingers. With her eyes widening when she saw him slide the knife in, she screamed.


Terry And Anna


Anna and Terry from Australia weren’t always in the media spotlight. Before that fateful moment in Scotland, Anna had never suspected that Terry had been holding onto a mind-blowing secret for years.


After three years of dating, Anna thought she knew all there was to know about her boyfriend. But she was so very wrong.



A Special Gift


It all started in 2014. Terry and Anna had been dating for a year before Terry presented her with the gift on their anniversary.


He had been practicing on his woodworking skills and he wanted to give his girlfriend something meaningful to mark their first year together. So, He sat down at his lathe and got to work.


More To It Than Met The Eye


After days of careful planning, Terry decided to craft a pendant for Anna out of Huon Pine, which can only be found in Tasmania. He inlaid a spiral seashell that they’d found on one of their trips into the wood and smoothed it down into a teardrop shape.


To complete the finishing touches, he hung the pendant on a piece of white string. It seemed like the perfect anniversary gift. But there was more to it than met the eye…


She Wore It Every Day


When Terry presented the necklace to Anna, she was ecstatic. She loved this token of their love so much that she wore it “every day and everywhere we went,” Terry confessed.


But little did Anna know, this necklace held a secret. But it was only two years later that she’d find out what it was.


Wanderlust


The Australian couple had always loved traveling to different corners of the world — this is what they had first noticed about each other when they first met. And traveling and going on adventures together had cemented their bond over the years.


They even kept a “bucket list” of places they would like to explore together. However, one destination on their list was about to change their lives forever.


To A Remote Place


And so, in November 2016, Terry and Anna journeyed to a remote location in Scotland. Little did Anna know, it would be a holiday she’d never forget.


The couple had planned to go and explore Smoo Cave, a sea cave a short distance from the village of Durness, on the coast of the Scottish Highlands. But Terry had other things on his mind…


He’d Planned It All


In fact, Anna knew that Terry had gone to great lengths to plan this particular trip. As they walked along the beach and around to a secluded spot among the rocks, she truly appreciated how isolated they were.


But nobody could have anticipated what he would do next. Now that they were completely alone, it was time for Terry to finally drop the act.


A Devious Move


Just before Anna and Terry were about to head down to see what they’d come here for — Smoo Cave –Terry turned to Anna and asked her a question. He asked if he could take her necklace off and take some photographs of it among the rocks.


Oblivious, Anna agreed. She let him slip it off her neck. But when she saw him take the knife out, she screamed.


Alarm


Terry had set up a camera with a timer and had positioned it carefully. He wanted to capture this moment forever. He slid his knife into the seam that held the necklace together and twisted it with one smooth motion.


Anna, alarmed that he was breaking her beloved pendant, yelled: “What are you doing?” But when he turned to face her, her yells became hysterical.


Hidden Inside


As Terry kneeled down, the camera’s flash snapped — capturing the moment forever. He opened his hands to reveal two halves of the wooden pendant that he had so lovingly carved for Anna two years before.


Anna looked down, puzzled. Then, she saw something glimmering in Terry’s hands. Had this been hidden inside the entire time?


“Yes!”


Looking from the engagement ring and back to Terry’s face as he stood there kneeling, Anna couldn’t contain herself. Terry proposed, and Anna said, “Yes,” before leaping into his arms.


Anna couldn’t believe that the ring had been hanging around her neck for two years without her realizing it! She was touched by Terry’s romantic gesture, but she also couldn’t hide the anger that she felt…


“You Idiot!”


“Wait… it’s been in there the entire time?! I could have lost it, you idiot!” Anna yelled. But Terry had clearly had enough faith in his girlfriend and trusted her not to lose it. And she had managed to keep the necklace safe for two whole years, after all.


Speaking to ABC News about his romantic gesture, Terry said he had “always loved the idea of giving someone a gift where they didn’t know its true value until years later.

One Afternoon, Husband And Wife Were Watching TV. What Follows Next Is So Funny.

 


While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth.

Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head.

The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck.

His daughter comes in with her date.

The man explains the situation, and the daughter’s date says,

“I can get the peanut out.”

He tells the father to sit down, shoves two fingers into the father’s nose, and tells him to blow hard.

The father blows, and the peanut flies out of his ear.

After the daughter takes her date to the kitchen for something to eat,

the mother turns to the father and says, “Isn’t he smart? I wonder what he plans to be.”

The father says,

“From the smell of his fingers, I’d say our son-in-law.”

An Attorney Arrived Home Late. What Follows Next Is Hilarious.

 


An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.


As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, ‘What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it’. And on and on and on.


Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.


While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.


Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.


As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.


“They’re not hanging Wright tonight,” she said.


He whirled around and screamed, “GOOD GRIEF WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?”

SILLY JOKE: HOW MANY CATS WOULD YOU HAVE JOHNNY?


Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”


Johnny: “Seven.”


Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”


Johnny: “Seven.”


Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”


Johnny: “Six.”


Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”


Johnny: “Seven!”


Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”


Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a cat!”

A little girl asks her mother and father how the human race came ...

 


Clean Joke: A Clever Student Argues!


STUDENT: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left.

 There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. 

We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we’re left with 141 days. 

If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. 

We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. 

We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. 

Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days. 

Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. 

Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you’re left with 3 days in the year to study! Let’s say you only go out for 2 days…

You’re left with 1 day. 

But that 1 day is your birthday. That’s why I did not study.

Teacher: Class dismissed.

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