A woman comes home and tells her husband,

“Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”

“No more headaches?” the husband asks,

“What happened?”

His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist.

He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,…

“I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache. It Worked! The headaches are all gone.”

The husband replies, “Well, that is wonderful.”

His wife then says,

“You know, you haven’t been exactly a ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?”

The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment,

The husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.

He Puts her on The bed and says,

“Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

He goes into The Bathroom and comes back.

A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, “Boy, that was wonderful!”

The husband says, “Don’t move! I will be right back.”

He goes back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

With That, He goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom, She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,

“She’s not my Wife. She’s Not my wife. She’s not my wife…”

His funeral services will be held on Friday.

Next Joke:

I’m not saying which relative…. but a relative just called & asked if I would loan her $1300.00 to help pay her rent.

Those who know me, know that I’m always willing to help out friends & family.

I told her to give me some time to think about it & I would call her back.

Before I called her back, her brother called & told me that my relative was lying & not to give her the money.

He goes on to say that the real reason my relative wanted the $1300.00 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday.

I thought about it for a minute & decided to give her the $1300.00 because we all need help at times.

So, I called my relative and told her to come get the money.

A couple of hours later I get a call from the County Jail. It was my relative crying, screaming & asking why I gave her counterfeit money.

My response…. so you & your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday!.. 

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